Everyone who travels has at least one grouchy flight
attendant tale.

In my experience, however, they are the exceptions that
prove the rule.

Over the last few years, as the workload grew for flight
attendants, pay and benefits often shrank. Add the threat
of terrorism, increasingly packed cabins and less time on
the ground and you’ve got the basic ingredients for a
stomach ulcer. Or at least a facial tic.

And yet, when we loudly scold them because we got a special
vegetarian, low-sodium meal instead of a low-fat, Kosher
meal, most of them manage to make the switch with a smile.

This week’s topics include:

* KEEPING THE FRIENDLY SKIES FRIENDLY

* HOW NOT TO BE ‘THAT PASSENGER’

* CELL PHONE MANNERS

P.S. If you’re interested you can now post comments on this
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KEEPING THE FRIENDLY SKIES FRIENDLY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, how do the professionals I’ve sometimes heard derided as
“wait staff with wings” generally stay so pleasant?

I found a clue in this month’s Anonymous Confessor feature
in Budget Travel magazine. Here’s what the nameless flight
attendant had to say about the screening process for
applicants:

“The interviewers specifically look to hire people who are
sweet and smile as much as possible.. . No rule is as
important as nodding your head, addressing passengers as
“sir” and “ma’am,” and smiling.”

So how can we, the passengers, help keep those smiles in
place and make everyone’s flight – especially our own – more
enjoyable?

“When flight attendants have nothing to be happy about, they
stop caring,” said James Wysong, a flight attendant and
author of the book “Air Travel Tales From the Flight Crew:
The Plane Truth at 35,000 Feet.” “An airline employee’s
job dissatisfaction is passed on to the consumer. You can
hardly kick someone in the posterior and expect them to
pass on a smile.”

So, basically, we can stop kicking when it’s not needed.
Here are some tips, based on comments from Wysong and Budget
Travel’s anonymous flight attendant:

* Adjust your mindset

Don’t expect every detail to go as planned. Delays,
misconnects, and seat problems are just a few of the hassles
associated with flying. None of them have anything to do
with your flight attendant. We don’t want him or her to take
their frustration out on us, so don’t take yours out on
them.

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HOW NOT TO BE ‘THAT PASSENGER’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* Close the cover

Few things throw travelers into a rage like a beverage
service accident that ruins an expensive piece of
electronics. As someone who considers his laptop to be as
necessary as his heart or stomach, I can understand that.

So, when any form of liquid passes near or over your
computer, close the cover. Even the most steady-handed
flight attendant can’t control turbulence.

* Get a sensible carry-on bag.

Don’t be one of those people who shoves and pushes and pokes
his or her bags into the overhead, taking up three times the
amount of space it should. Traveling light doesn’t do much
good if you’ve still got an awkward-sized carry-on bag.

* Actually listen to the safety instructions

Yes, they are important. And yes, if you fly enough, it
becomes background noise. But different airlines can have
different safety procedures. And the procedures you’re
accustomed to tuning out can change.

At a minimum, pretend you’re back in middle school math
class and fake interest.

* Tip

On airlines, it’s not enough to tip the flight attendants.
You have to force them to take it.

According to the anonymous confessor, many airlines do not
allow attendants to accept tips on the first attempt. That
same flight attendant, however, admitted that passengers who
tip during the drink service get special attention.

* Go before you go

If you’ve got a short flight, use the airport’s restrooms
before boarding. On many brief trips, attendants are still
required to do the full beverage and snack service, and that
gets really hard when people are moving through the aisle,
often in a hurry.

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CELL PHONE MANNERS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary Jo Manzanares, a flight attendant who writes about
travel in her “Fly Away Cafe” blog has a particular gripe
about passengers who use cell phones selfishly. She offers
12 tips which I have cut, condensed and adapted to share
with you:

* Don’t use your cell phone while boarding.

With a couple of carry-ons in one hand and a boarding pass
in the other, trying to add a cell phone makes it impossible
to smoothly navigate the aisle, get to you seat, stow your
bags and put on your seat belt. Get on, stow your bags, sit
down, and then, if there’s time, make your call.

* Don’t be an aisle hog

If you’ve ignored the above suggestion, don’t stop in the
middle of the aisle to write something down, send a text
message, or to continue your conversation. There are people
behind you trying to get to their seat. You are holding up
progress, and no one wants to wait on you.

* Focus

Don’t try to talk to the flight attendants about your
seating problem, drink or meal order, or special request
while you’re talking on the phone. Multi-tasking in this
situation means nothing gets accomplished. Besides, it’s
just plain rude.

* Hang up already

Turn the power off when asked to do so. This is true for
both cell phones and for PDAs. Most airlines require that
all electronics be turned off before closing the door for
push back and taxi. Flight attendants are required to do a
walk through to confirm.

This is when they’ll ask a second time, probably a bit more
firmly. You are now holding up the process and potentially
causing a delay. Look around at all the people you are
inconveniencing. The reason they are all turning to give you
dirty looks is because you’re rude.

* Censor yourself

Consider the content of your conversation. People can hear
you, so you should think twice about the personal data you
reveal (like giving a credit card number to reserve a hotel
room) when there are people so close to you.

Also, watch your language. In the past, I’ve had to ask both
businessmen and college students to chill out on the four-
letter words while one of my kids was sitting in earshot.

* Be prepared

Keep your cell phone handy if you want to use it taxiing in.
Most airlines allow you to use your cell phone while you are
taxiing to the gate. But you still can’t unbuckle your seat
belt or take out your carry-on.

Well, that’s it for this week, group. Thanks again for
reading, and please keep those comments, complaints and
questions coming in.

You can send me an e-mail message at:
mailto:pierce@gophercentral.com
<a href=”mailto:pierce@gophercentral.com”>Email Pierce</a>

Until next week, thanks for reading.

Your Tipmeister,

Pierce